Realization
by The Top Hat
Summary: Life can have it's boring moments, but isn't that when the best thinking happens? A work in progress.
1. Uh Oh!

I haven't done much on this site for a while, I know that. I apologise. I haven't had much insperation much with any new story or new chapters for the existing ones. Again, I apologise. But I had a surge of insperation since watching an episode of Danny Phantom. Yeah, it probably isn't the best and maybe Sam is out of character a bit, but whatever. It's just something I felt like writting as a birthday present to me. Enjoy.

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Sam's POV

Ugh! Sometimes science is so freeking boring. Lancer teaching us about the moon phases isn't very interesting. And after that whole deal with that jerk a few days ago, I'm so not in the mood. I'm so skeptical about everything right now, especially stuff like relationships, but why do I care?

Yeah, okay. So maybe I am a little pathetic. I mean, what? I'm fifteen and never really had a boyfriend if you don't count Gregor or whatever the hell his name was. I don't count him. He wasn't a real person, so he wasn't a real boyfriend. We kissed once, and that, in my opinion, wasn't anything. We weren't an "official" couple, just one date.

I have never had a boyfriend, so does that mean I'm suppose to be a lip virgin? I'm not, 'least I don't think so, so does that make me a whore? Yeah, I guess maybe I am a bit. I did do a bit of kiss-and-tell. Or did I? The only reason I had to fess up to the kiss with Gregor was because Danny did a watch-a-kiss-and-tell. Asshole.

Let's see....who have I kissed? Danny once, but that was to make Valerie loose our tail. A "Fake-out-make-out," as Tucker coined it. It didn't mean anything, did it? Now that I think about it, why the hell did I do it? What did it mean? Did I just want an excuse to taste his lips, or was I really trying to help him?

Tucker.....disturbing. That was all one big misunderstanding! That also didn't mean anything. That was just a mistake. One big mistake that made me rinse with mouth wash for forty-five minutes straight. Bleh!

Dash....even more disturbing! Again, that was to make him run off. I mean, who in the world would wanna kiss me? It made them all run for the hills!

…..Except for Danny. Danny didn't. He looked memorized......*sigh.*

Okay, back to the subject. Anyways. Once again we come back to "Gregor," but like I said above, I don't count that.

So am I just technical? Or am I just in denial?

Then again, I've never really had a crush, really. I liked Tucker for just a LITTLE bit, like two hours, in the third grade. That was IT! Yeah, yeah. Laugh. But if you had been in my situation back then, you wouldn't be laughing so much, jackass.

Now we come back to Danny. I never really saw him as anything but a friend. A really cute friend who understood everything, who was always there for you no matter if he agreed or was busy. The best friend who has raven hair and clear water blue eyes and......holy crap!

Where am I going with this? Is this just trying to help me sort out all of my feelings after this whole fiasco? Am I just trying to figure something out? I'm just looking for answers! Help!

Why am I thinking about him like this? Like I said, I haven't really thought about him like this since.....Paulina. *Clench Teeth* Grr. I hate that slut. GO TO HELL! Anyways, but......I don't know. Do I.....*gulp* like him? Could I actually see me and him actually being together? Being a unit, two peas in a pod, together, holding hands, whispering in each others ears, couple?

Okay, so maybe I could see it. Maybe it was actually jealousy when him and Valerie were together. Maybe I wanted to be the one on the Ferris Wheel together, laughing and having a fun time. Maybe I've always, deep down, wished for it or dreamt about it. I mean, I dunno. I'm just a teenager. Maybe these are just the hormones talking.

I'm saying maybe a lot, aren't I? That means I am unsure. I dunno how to sort all of this out. Ok. What do I see in him? He's funny, adorable, and gives some awesome hugs.

K. So if I ended up falling for him, is that the best option? Would it just lead to heartbreak? What would he see in me, a pale, goth, not-so-feminine friend whom he's known since pre-school and probably sees as more of a "sister" than a romantic relationship. I'm probably so deep in the best friend hole that I'll never get out. He probably thinks of me as more of a Jazz person, minus the uptight intelligence part. More of a girl who's is also always there for him and care about him and not as much a Paulina person, again minus the preppy pink side, and wouldn't be attracted in that sort of way. It would probably be SO difficult to break that "best friend girl" mold that it would probably just end up being a failure.

Note to self: Stop over analizing EVERYTHING!

Danny also is WAY too caring towards his friends. He'd prolly say that we could never be together because all of his enemies would be after me like flies to a dead body to trap him, and he could never let anything bad happen to me. He doesn't realize that I would love him, and he's more important to me and that I wouldn't care about being in "danger," just that I was with him. It's like, if I had died like that, at least I died happy.

It probably will never happen. He loves Valerie or Paulina, who are completely different from me. If he likes preppy girls like that, then I'm probably not his type. That's something I can't change. I want him to be happy, and if that includes not being with me because he doesn't love me, I can deal. I just want someone to be honest with me. I'd rather cry over the truth than smile over a lie. I want him to be happy, even if I'm not.

Holy shitaki! From all of the stuff I've been going over, I actually think I like him. All the signs are there. I get red when he's around, my hands get sweaty, I studder sometimes, and heart races so bloody fast, I smile a lot, and everyone says we're a couple. And according to Wikipedia, those are signs of, "Limerance," the 'scienctific' term for a crush or something like that. Grr! I hate being a teenager! It's all so fucking complicated!

Yeah, okay. I have a crush on it. I admit it. I've always known, but I've been too scared to admit it. Yeah, I know, Sam Manson being scared. Is the Apocalypse near?

Maybe that's why I've always critizised couples, relationships, love in general, and all of Danny's crushes. I'm just scared because I think it'll never happen to me. And it probably never will.

Hey, 'least I'm honest.

Yeah, I like him. I like Danny Fenton. I like Danny Phantom. I like BOTH sides, not just one or the other like some people. But that's probably not good enough. He doesn't like me.....or maybe he does or will one day. I dunno. Maybe I should give more hints towards him.....Only time will tell what happens, I guess.

Or maybe I'm just being an over-analyzer. But, hey, that's just me.


	2. OMG

Pfft. If I write another chapter, can some of those hundreds of visitors that are visiting this story click that pretty purple button at the bottom and at least tell me what you think? It's not that difficult. I mean, common. Four reviews is pretty pathetic, and those who reviewed, THANK YOU! This chapter is dedicated to you because you actually give me some encouragement. So here's some D/S fluffiness for you.

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"Well, you're the only one I know who can fit over six people on your bed," I said to Danny as we were having one of our playful arguments.

"But you're the only person who can have fifteen people on your bed," Danny replied to me with that cute little smile on his face and a tint of blush in his cheeks. Gosh, he looks cute.

This is what we've been doing since fifth grade. We go over to Danny's house and hang out in his bedroom. It's always fun, but no matter what you think, nothing has ever happened beyond a awesome hug here and there, which Danny is a master at.

Tucker never really comes along. He's more into video games or sleeping or something like that. While, yes, we do play video games, we also just talk about random stuff that amuse us. Sometimes we write some pretty rad music for this stupid band we made up called Skulking Ember. Yeah, retarded, but you've gotta admit, it's pretty damn clever. It's something we can do that's somewhat entertaining.

So yeah, since we've been age eleven, we've always come to this exact bedroom on the second floor of Fenton Works and have never been bored, and now we're fifteen and still have an amazing time. And since I just found out about my new-found-always-been-there-after-over-analyzing feelings for him, they've been something I've looked more and more forward to.

"You're the only one I know who has a ton of pillows on your bed," I said.

It was true; he had over 11 pillows total, whether they were feather, cotton, or prettyful, decorative pillows. They all seemed to fit perfectly on his twin bed. I was at the end with my back on the metal post while he was sitting at the opposite side in the same position.

"And you're my only friend who has amazing socks." He pointed at my multi-colored, striped socks with a giraffe on them. This is just what we did. We are just stupid like that after we had too many Rockstars and caffein.

"Then I win! Woot woot! I'm bomb, yo!"

See, this was our game. We were arguing about who was the better friend, 'cept we argue about how the other one is a better friend.

After my life changing day in Lancer's class a few days ago, I came out of my shell. I have been flirting more with him, and it's all been going extremely well. He's seems responsive, but is this just because he's a male and all he thinks about is girls or does it have something to do with me? There I go with the analyzing again.

I still love him, and it's grown. I've noticed more about him than I use to. I noticed yesterday how great in shape he is. I notice the most adorable way he laughs and how sometimes his voice breaks or squeaks.

Everything's slightly confusing and weird, but it's all good.

But why does he have to be so dense and clueless? His head's like a rock.

"So how's 'Gregor,'" the yummy boy asks me in a teasing way.

"Dead, I hope." I really did hope it. Jackass.

"Woahhh. You are dark."

"You just noticed?" I asked sarcastically.

"That's not the only thing I've just noticed..."

WTF?! Ok, Sam. Play it COOL.

"Wh...what do you mean?"

So much for playing it cool. **HEADBANG!** DAMNITDAMNITDAMNIT!

"Oh nothing that concerns you, Sammy."

"K. One: Never call me that. Two: It does concern me if you notice something about ME. What? Do I have food in my teeth?"

Smooth save?

"No, no. There's nothing in your pretty teeth. It's just other things."

OMFG! I'M NOT THAT OBIVOUS! Ok, again, play it cool. COOL!

"Ok. Then what is it?" I ask, praying to God, some supreme master, or basically anyone who'll listen that Danny doesn't know anything and hoping someone will hear me.

"That you've been wearing your hair different. It's not a ponytail anymore."

THANK GOD he's a clueless bitch, (I say that in the most sincere way.)

"Haha. I've been too lazy to put it up."

"What'd you think I was talking about?" he asked me with a twinkle in his eye.

"Ohh, nothing that concerns you, Danny," mimicking him.

"I think I know what you wanted me to say...."

…...I'm extremely suspicious.....

I feel warm lips on mine.....HOLY CRAP! This is actually happening! Danny Fenton is kissing me!

I'm still confused....but hell. I'm gonna enjoy it.

I wrap my arms around his neck and we are about to part until.....

Damnit! My mom calls and tells me to get home IMMEDIATELY. Who knew that being gone for more than an hour and a half at the beginning of the month when Mom gets her parenting magazine and becomes over-protective would make her act all PMSing.

I HATE MY MOTHER!

After my conversation with my freak of a parent, I look over at Danny. He looks....upset. Like a little, loss puppy.

"I have to go," I tell him.

I blew it BIG time.

I leave his house, still confused.

I need to go home and over-analyze this.

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Yeah, yeah. It SUCKS. Go ahead and flame. I don't care. Just don't be lazy and review.


	3. Fin

Currently at home, alone. The parentals are out somewhere....doing something. Who knows what. Who really cares.

Isn't it kinda strange, though? My mother demands me home yet goes off somewhere only seven minutes after I get home. Dumb broad.

It's raining and storming out and is quite warm. The best weather ever in the entire world.

Seriously, rain is awesome. It's all like, 'Drippity droppity. Drippity droppity. KABOOM! Splah spalsh splash. KA-KA-KABOOM!' Then some person gets struck by lightning, screams, and dies a painful death.

I'm just kinda high on dry erase marker right now.

Still uberly confused about whatever happened a few hours ago between me, Sam, and him, Danny.

That kiss.....wow.

How amazing.

But still confusing.

I hate being confused.

Has he caught on? Or maybe he just had some weird urge to kiss someone and I was the closest female in proximity.

But I left too early for him to give a reason.

Huge f-ing mistake.

HELP!

Ok, so let's see. Has he given any signs of liking me...at all? K, let's make a list.

He blushes...a lot. Or is that just some weird disease he has?

He rubs his neck a lot when I'm around. Is this just a habit, though? Doesn't he do it all the time?

He studders around me and messes up a ton when he talks. It could be a speech impediment, though...

He SMILES! OMFG! That smile is so freeking aborable!

There's somethings I can think of off the top of my head.

So what's wrong with me? What's going on?

Grr. Fucking teenage hormones.

And boys. Fucking teenage boys. Always being confusing and cute and funny and making girls like me who is suppose to loath relationships fall in love with them. I HATE YOU ALL! In the nicest way, of course.

Ooohh. I got something on AIM.

'CasperTheHalfGhost (7:33:08 PM): wassup sammy'

Crap. What do I say?

'GothicLolita (7:33:20 PM): herro'

Very clever...

'CasperTheHalfGhost (7:33:31 PM): meet me at the park in 10 min, k?'

'GothicLolita (7:33:39 PM): aww danny. its raining, though'

'CasperTheHalfGhost (7:33:46 PM): you love the rain. besides, it doesnt matter. i really need to talk to you....now'

'CapserTheHalfGhost has signed off.'

Uhm....damnit.

Should I go?

Okkie. Let's flip a coin and see what I do. Heads I stay. Tails I go.

**Flips coin.**

.....It's tails.....**Sigh** Let me go grab my hoodie.

I walk out the door of my house and walk. Walk and walk and walk and walk.

Why does it seem like the park is so far away?

Oh. It's because I'm dragging my legs and I don't even realize it. So I'm probably going the same speed as a Snapping Turtle.

But why am I dreading this so much?

Maybe it's because I've learned over life nothing really goes in my favor?

Yeah, that seems about right.

Gosh, I'm such a pessimist.

After five blocks, I finally see the Oak trees that signal the park is near.

Either this meeting between me and Danny is going to be really good...or really, really bad.

I walk up to the entrance where the fountain and a sign that says, "Twelve Oaks Park," named after a Gone With The Wind plantation, welcomes us. The rain is pouring endlessly. When the wind blows, the rain stings my face. I'm soaked from head to toe and my make-up is running down my face.

I enter the park and walk aimlessly through the winding rock path, passing the children's playground, picnic area, multiple benches, the big hill, when I finally come to the fountain, where we usually meet when we go to the park. I sit on the ledge and look at my reflection; all I see is a diluted image of a person who has big eyes and looks like they're been crying....sometimes I hate that person so much.

Fucking mood swings. Half an hour ago I was high on dry erase marker and all hyper, now I'm depressed and my head is hurting ultra super bad.

Maybe these are my brain cells punishing me for sniffing markers.

I swat the water and look at the ground below me and I remember why I came here.

Where is he?

I'm starting to get a little impatient!

I mean, is he going to tell me it was a huge mistake or he....feels something.

Or maybe he's moving to Greenland.

I dunno what to think.

GODDAMNIT!

I see someone running in the distance....is it him?

IT IS!

Okkie, Sam. He's here. Calm down. Be calm, damnit!

"Hey," Danny said when he got to me.

"Hi...." I said back in my most nervous voice. Control. Stay in control.

"So, look. About today...."

I guess I cut him off with my subconscious mind who wanted to speak.

"I understand if you thought it was a mistake. **Sigh** It's okay."

"But..." Then he pushes his lips against mine and pulls me closer to him. I put my arms around his neck without realizing it.

Look how wrong I was.

Oh my gosh! His lips taste like brown sugar.

We part after what was only a few moments, with our foreheads still touching, we stare at each other with an emotion I can't put my finger on.

I think I need to go scream for a bit.

My head is going everywhere. What do I do? What do I say? Darnit! Why do I have such inconsistent wit?

K. Maybe just look at him with a longing look and don't say anything.

Nothing at all.

He continues to stare. Is he expecting something?

He sighs and says something that makes me heart skip a fucking beat, or maybe it just stopped all together.

"I love you."

GAHHH!!

Ok. What do I say? Oh yeah....

"Finally you aren't dense anymore..." There's my old wit again...I think.

He looks slightly offended. Damnit.

Then he gives his smile. That smile that makes me MELT.

He kisses me again, this time it's more passionate.

I whisper in his ear, "I love you, too."

Maybe over thinking everything isn't so bad after all....

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Not my best. Review.


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